Blog

The Highest Point in Perspective / Gangs of AF

June 7, 2015

Mama Bear and Ollie-VER.

The seed splits and sprouts after the moisture has properly given its life-sustaining blessing. The snowfall in Utah Valley was slim and the concern for water was on the minds of many as the spring season was quickly approaching us. The December, January, February and March months swung past us and the trees began to show life and promise of a healthy and vibrant spring. The mornings and evenings were cool with an intermediate warmer period in which one could walk the block, bike a trail or swim a river. Spring had arrived.
The past two or three weeks has been filled with rainfalls that scatter throughout the day/week, sending praises and “Hallej’s” to the sky for the liquid life that would accumulate in and eventually fall from the clouds above. With plants and seeds in the soil we were grateful for the rain.  Little by little we have watched the seeds spring from the top layer of dirt and push their way up, reaching for the firmament with high hopes to beat the odds of survival, to achieve what their brothers and sisters might not. Glory! Glory to the majesty of the process!

Willamette MTN / Ollie-VER / Bums.

Babes / Babies

Radboyzonly / Ollie-VER / Hangin Smudge Sticks


Through these last few, rainy, partly cloudy and beautiful weeks the boys and I have been locked up in the upstairs of Willamette MTN, strumming, drumming, singing and playing in practice for the three shows that we were to play. The first of the three was in downtown SLC. RuRu and the band (Isaac Russell) had booked a show at Kilby Court and had the night (and most of the day for that matter) free. They were scheduled to play at 9pm and I had told myself for the days leading up to it that I would be going. The day, as it so often is was filled with yard, house, kid, wife, animal and musical duties. As the day progressed I got in my head that maybe, just MAYBE I should make the Salt Lake journey on my bicycle. Though I thoroughly enjoy cycling I had YET to cycle from American Fork to Salt Lake City, though the desire had been sitting within me for years. At 4:30 I mentioned the notion to Emma, she looked at me as a mother might to her child aspiring to be the President of the country, saying “Sure, honey, that would be lovely. I am sure that one day you could be the next…” I felt, albeit self imposed, challenged. I packed a water bottle and jumped on my bike at 5:30. I started in on my ride to the GREAT SALT LAKE. I had decided to take the frontage road that runs parallel to the freeway. I was feeling alive and free. I raced past Thanksgiving Point and started in on the frontage road. There were signs that Road Construction was under way and that bikers were recommended to take another route. With the time constraints that I was under to make RuRu’s show I felt that there was no other option but to pursue the slightly more dangerous frontage road route and continued past the warning sign. As I was pushing up the point of the mountain there was several times were I felt the pressure of the cars racing by me, inches from me and my bike.
I have made better decision in the past.
I made it through the road construction and enjoyed the rest of the ride to downtown Salt Lake, listening to the country sounds of Sturgill Simpson and his band of boys. I made it to Kilby Court to see the boys play and felt grateful for the whole experience. For working legs, and working friends. One to push me there, the other to push me past.
By the time I arrived home after the show I was ready to sleep.

Boys / Lakes / Bikes.

Friday came and we were to play at the Rooftop Concert Series in downtown Provo. We have been so fortunate to have been a part of this Concert Series in years gone by, and were ECSTATIC to be a part of the first year that they moved the Concert from the rooftop to the street. We arrived to check sounds and set up. The stage and sound system was much bigger than the year’s prior. As the sunset and the people of Provo and the surrounding areas showed up we watched from the sidelines as Quiet House and Sego played and sang from the tower of the stage. By the time the Mayor of Provo took the stage around 9pm the sun had completely set and the ocean of floating heads had multiplied. Mayor Curtis (of Provo) spoke of how Provo is becoming a booming scene of musical and artistic endeavor and doing so with FUEGO. I sat there listening and feeling IMMENSELY grateful to be part of such a beautiful group of individuals. We played for an amazing crowd of people that for the lack of a better word we felt “CONNECTED” with. Does it feel “cheap” to say THANK YOU on an online journaling project? Does it resound with those that you feel you want to thank? Does Provo Rooftop Concert Series, Courtney Kendrick, Sarah Wiley, Mayor Curtis, Corey Fox, and every CREATIVE mind that has / had anything to do with the growth of such a beautiful culture grow KNOW how it is I might feel for them? That “appreciation” sounds even silly in comparison to the true emotion that I want to explain?
I feel ever so grateful. Truly.
We enjoyed singin that Friday night.

Caligraphic Canciones.

A Singin’ / A Sound / A Sight.

My Boys / My Babes. (Photo take by Justin Hackworth)

Rooftop (sans roof) / Arms (Brothers In).

A Train of Sound / Firm Is The Footing.


Saturday came and I was in need of some Rad Boyz time. Ollie and I biked (Ollie, more or less sat in a trailer behind my bike, BUT…I think that his mental force kept my legs pushing) into American Fork Canyon and than back to the MTN. We took Mama Queen and baby girl to the park and ate veggie burgers and conversed with familiar (yet not so familiar) relatives on the Greenwood side, some of whom I never knew existed. At around 6 we left the two little children that are under our care at their Grandmother’s home and headed to SLC to play drums for Timmy The Teeth at Kilby Court. Much of the gang was there. I do say gang for MUCH reasoning. This GANG is fierce and fiery with qualities that I care to emulate. A passion and TRU zest for living. A desire for artistic expression through song or stitch, with conversation and connection. I hadn’t known through the years that family comes from many forks in the proverbial road. I can say that I play music with the greatest band IN THE WORLD.
I don’t really give a shit what it might sound like, it’s just truth.
Evan, Isaac and Timmy are the greatest boys that you might or might not (ever) know. But I know’em, and they got the hearts, they got the hands, the minds, the force of a creature that you may only hear in story books. The breath of a dragon and the force of an army. The love of a goddess and the fury of a storm. I could NEVER say enough of the adoration and care that I feel for those fellas and their lovely ladies. Good HEAVENS, I can’t quite imagine where I might be without’em. Lord knows I don’t wanna.
(Off I go on a love tangent. Proud of it, I guess)
We played that night and shared a communal pizza slice post show.
What a life. What a gang.
This all might sounds like trivial dribble. But it’s the force with which I pursue I LIFE WORTH LIVIN’. Hold onto the lover ya got, cuz ya ain’t sure when yer goin, my amigos. TRUE AND TRIED, TRIED AND TRUTH.

Dreamin’, even still,

Joshua (a wilder wolf than before)

Dia De Las Madres

May 10, 2015

The Mightiest MOMMA

Some days you feel grateful. Some days you forget. It doesn’t serve as an excuse for me as much as it does a description. It just is. You forget things that have been done for you / to you. Maybe it’s just the process that the brain goes through to be able to cope with the fact that it is on until it isn’t (any longer). The thought of it can feel “HEAVY”.

Madre de los hijos mios / Swingin’ Sunday

My parents came to town and i was able to see them. We walked in the rain, talked of Nebraska and children. We watched as my younger brother passed across a stage to take a diploma that may lead him to a greener pastures. We built a fire and let it take our conversation to topics untouched. Four days with Father and Mother, the last being the morning of “Mothers Day”. I was able to tell the woman that birthed me a humble “thank you”.

Daddy Fred / Ollie-VER / Salt Lake City

Words of Adoration / Mother Mia.

To my mother, my lover, the woman and child.

The twist and the grind of a life that still beats.
Starts with the thought then the swim to the seed.
Slow and inside of the mother it grows,
Two hearts step in sync till the seed meets the soul.

Now into the world with a gasp for the air.
Everything’s foreign, it seems jarring, unfair.
There is color and beauty, a world to be seen
There is darkness and thunder but hope in between.

Through every moment there’s a woman who sits.
Cautious to protect to the point where she’s sick,
She guides from a far through her motion and move.
Showing the seed what it means to improve.

One step then five till the seed has its mind
It kisses the Mother and waves it’s goodbyes.
The win and the fail all apart of the drive
Showing the bitter only sweetens a life.

Now years trickle through making elders from youth
And looking behind there’s the pillar of truth.
The woman who gave you the breath that you take.
The mightiest of creatures, the Mother, the maid.


joshua (a wolf)

Dia De Las Madres

May 10, 2015

The Mightiest MOMMA

Some days you feel grateful. Some days you forget. It doesn’t serve as an excuse for me as much as it does a description. It just is. You forget things that have been done for you / to you. Maybe it’s just the process that the brain goes through to be able to cope with the fact that it is on until it isn’t (any longer). The thought of it can feel “HEAVY”.

Madre de los hijos mios / Swingin’ Sunday

My parents came to town and i was able to see them. We walked in the rain, talked of Nebraska and children. We watched as my younger brother passed across a stage to take a diploma that may lead him to a greener pastures. We built a fire and let it take our conversation to topics untouched. Four days with Father and Mother, the last being the morning of “Mothers Day”. I was able to tell the woman that birthed me a humble “thank you”.

Daddy Fred / Ollie-VER / Salt Lake City

Words of Adoration / Mother Mia.

To my mother, my lover, the woman and child.

The twist and the grind of a life that still beats.
Starts with the thought then the swim to the seed.
Slow and inside of the mother it grows,
Two hearts step in sync till the seed meets the soul.

Now into the world with a gasp for the air.
Everything’s foreign, it seems jarring, unfair.
There is color and beauty, a world to be seen
There is darkness and thunder but hope in between.

Through every moment there’s a woman who sits.
Cautious to protect to the point where she’s sick,
She guides from a far through her motion and move.
Showing the seed what it means to improve.

One step then five till the seed has its mind
It kisses the Mother and waves it’s goodbyes.
The win and the fail all apart of the drive
Showing the bitter only sweetens a life.

Now years trickle through making elders from youth
And looking behind there’s the pillar of truth.
The woman who gave you the breath that you take.
The mightiest of creatures, the Mother, the maid.


joshua (a wolf)